"But you ain't my boyfriend (boyfriend)
And I ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend, yeah)
But you don't want me to touch nobody else (nobody)
Baby, we ain't gotta tell nobody"
~boyfriend - Ariana Grande, Social House
~Two weeks later~
"I have an idea," Dr. Patel said during our session. "And I want you to hear me out before you say no."
"That's a concerning start."
"I think you should write a letter to your parents. Not to send—just for you. To process everything you're feeling."
"I already said everything I needed to say when my mom was here."
"Did you? Or did you say everything you were angry enough to say in the moment?"
I was quiet.
"Kashvi, closure doesn't always look like confrontation. Sometimes it looks like processing. Understanding. Forgiving—not them, but yourself."
"What would I even say?"
"Whatever you need to say. Whatever you're still carrying."
That night, I sat at my desk with a blank document open. Started typing. Deleted it. Started again.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm writing this for me, not you. Dr. Patel says it'll help me process. I don't know if she's right, but I'm trying.
I'm angry at you. I think I'll always be angry at you for not being there when I needed you most. For choosing your reputation over your daughter. For making me feel like my trauma was something shameful.
But I'm also sad. Sad that I lost the parents I thought I had. Sad that I'll never have the relationship with you that I deserved. Sad that you'll never really know who I've become because you chose not to be part of my healing.
I'm healing, by the way. Slowly. I'm in therapy. I have friends who actually care about me. I have someone who loves me—really loves me, not the conditional way you loved me. His name is Aadyant, and he's shown me what family is supposed to look like.
I don't know if I'll ever send this. Don't know if I want a relationship with you again. But I needed to say this: I forgive you. Not because you deserve it, but because I deserve peace.
I deserve to stop carrying your failures as my own.
- Kashvi
I saved the document and closed my laptop. Felt lighter somehow.
My phone buzzed. Aadyant.
Aadyant: How was therapy?
Me: Good. Hard, but good. Dr. Patel gave me homework.
Aadyant: What kind of homework?
Me: Writing a letter to my parents. For closure.
Aadyant: Did you write it?
Me: Just finished.
Aadyant: How do you feel?
Me: Lighter. Sad. Relieved. All of it at once.
Aadyant: That sounds about right. Want company? Or do you need space?
Me: Company would be nice.
Aadyant: I'll be there in 20 minutes.
~
Kashvi looked exhausted when she opened the door, but she smiled when she saw me.
"Hey."
"Hey." I handed her the bag I was carrying. "I brought food. Figured you probably haven't eaten."
"How do you always know?"
"Because I'm learning you. And you never eat when you're processing heavy things."
Inside, we sat at her kitchen table. I'd brought Chinese takeout—her favorites, nothing with preservatives.
"You wrote the letter," I said once we'd started eating.
"Yeah. It was... cathartic. Painful, but cathartic."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I told them I forgive them. Not for them—for me. So I can let go."
"That's huge, Jaan."
"It doesn't mean I want them back in my life. It just means I'm done letting their failures define me."
"That's exactly what it should mean." I reached across the table, taking her hand. "I'm proud of you."
"You say that a lot."
"Because I am. Constantly. You're doing this incredibly hard work, and I get to witness it. That's a privilege."
She was quiet for a moment. "Aadyant?"
"Yeah?"
"I've been thinking about something. And I don't know if I'm ready, but I want to try."
"Okay. What is it?"
She took a breath. "I want to tell the group. About what happened. About my past. Not everything—not the details. But enough that they understand. Enough that I stop hiding."
"You don't have to—"
"I know. But I want to. They're my friends. They deserve to know why I am the way I am. And I—" She paused. "I don't want to carry secrets anymore. Not from people who've proven they care about me."
"When do you want to tell them?"
"This weekend? At movie night? All of them together so I only have to say it once?"
"Whatever you want. I'll be right there."
"Thank you. And I'm sor—" She caught herself. "I mean, thank you for supporting me through this."
"Getting better at catching those apologies."
"Aadya's ranch pizza threat is very motivating."
~
~Friday night, Group Movie night~
Everyone had gathered at the penthouse for our weekly movie night. Pizza had been ordered, snacks were spread across the coffee table, and Vihaan was already arguing about what to watch.
But I couldn't focus on any of it.
"Actually," I said, interrupting Vihaan mid-rant about why action movies were superior, "before we start the movie, I need to tell you all something."
The room went quiet.
"Kashvi, you okay?" Ritika asked.
"Yeah. I'm okay. I just—" I looked at Aadyant, who gave me an encouraging nod. "I need to tell you guys something. About me. About my past. And it's going to be heavy, so if anyone wants to leave—"
"No one's leaving," Vihaan said firmly. "Whatever you need to say, we're here."
I took a breath.
"Three years ago, I was living in India with my parents. And something bad happened to me. I was attacked. By three men. They—" I stopped, struggling. "They hurt me. Badly. The police came in time, but the damage was done. Physical damage that healed. Psychological damage that didn't."
Everyone was completely silent.
"My parents didn't handle it well. They made me feel like it was my fault. Like I was something shameful to hide. So they sent me here, to live with my aunt. To get me out of sight."
"Kashvi—" Aashika's eyes were filled with tears.
"Let me finish. Please." I wiped at my own tears. "I've been dealing with PTSD ever since. Panic attacks, anxiety, depression. Eight months after I moved here, I tried to kill myself. My aunt found me and got me to the hospital in time, but—" My voice broke. "That's why I'm the way I am. Why I apologize constantly. Why I flinch at unexpected touch. Why I have bad days where I can barely function."
"And I wanted you all to know because you're my friends. And friends deserve honesty. And I'm tired of hiding who I am and why I'm broken."
"You're not broken," Shivansh said quietly.
"I know. Aadyant keeps telling me that. I'm starting to believe him."
Ritika stood up and walked over, pulling me into a hug. "Thank you for telling us. That took so much courage."
Then everyone was hugging me. All of them. A group hug that felt like safety and acceptance and home.
"So that's why you kept apologizing," Vihaan said when we all pulled apart. "Your parents made you feel like you were a burden."
"Yeah."
"Well, fuck them. You're not a burden. You're our friend and we love you."
"Vihaan," Aadya said gently.
"What? I'm serious! Her parents suck and she deserves better!"
Despite everything, I laughed. "Thanks, Vihaan."
"Anytime. Now, are we watching this movie or what? Because I voted for action and I'm not backing down."
The night continued, but something had shifted. I'd told them. Really told them. And they hadn't run. Hadn't looked at me with pity.
They'd just... loved me harder.
~
~Later~
After everyone left, Kashvi stayed behind to help clean up. Really, I think she just wanted to talk.
"That went better than I expected," she said, loading plates into the dishwasher.
"What did you expect?"
"I don't know. Awkwardness? Pity? Questions I wasn't ready to answer?"
"Instead you got love. Which is what you deserve."
She leaned against the counter. "I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For something to go wrong. For you to realize I'm too much work."
"Jaan." I put down the dish towel and walked over to her. "I need you to understand something. You're not work. Being with you, supporting you, loving you—it's not effort. It's a privilege."
"How do you always know what to say?"
"Because I mean it. Every word."
She looked up at me, and something in her expression shifted. Determined.
"Aadyant?"
"Yeah?"
"I have a question. And I need you to answer honestly."
"Okay..."
"We've said we love each other. We've kissed. We spend almost every day together. But we've never actually defined... this. What we are."
My heart started pounding. "What do you want us to be?"
"I want—" She stopped, gathering courage. "I want you to be my boyfriend. Officially. If you want that too."
"If I want that?" I couldn't help but laugh. "Jaan, I've wanted that since the day I met you."
"Really?"
"Really. But I was waiting for you to be ready."
"I'm ready. I'm scared, but I'm ready." She smiled. "So will you? Be my boyfriend?"
"Yes. Absolutely yes." I pulled her into a kiss, and it felt like everything clicking into place.
When we pulled apart, she was grinning.
"I have a boyfriend."
"You have a boyfriend who is completely in love with you."
"I'm completely in love with you too."
"Good. Because I'm not letting you go."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
~
I drove home that night feeling like I was floating.
I had a boyfriend. Aadyant Rathore was my boyfriend.
The words felt surreal. Wonderful. Terrifying.
But for once, the terrifying part felt smaller than the wonderful part.
Bua was still awake when I got home, working on case files in the living room.
"You're home late," she observed.
"Movie night ran long." I couldn't keep the smile off my face.
"That's quite a smile. Something happen?"
"I told the group. About what happened to me. About everything."
"And?"
"And they were amazing. They didn't run or get weird. They just—they loved me."
"Of course they did. You're very lovable, beta."
"And I asked Aadyant to be my boyfriend."
Bua's eyebrows rose. "Did you now?"
"Yeah. And he said yes. So I have a boyfriend. A real, official boyfriend."
"I'm happy for you, Kashvi. You deserve this. All of it."
"I'm happy too. Scared, but happy."
"That's the best kind of happy. The kind that's worth the fear."
That night, before bed, I got a text from Aadyant.
Aadyant: Hey girlfriend.
Me: Hey boyfriend.
Aadyant: I like how that sounds.
Me: Me too. Terrifying, but I like it.
Aadyant: We'll figure out the terrifying part together.
Me: Promise?
Aadyant: Promise. Now get some sleep. Dream of good things.
Me: Like you?
Aadyant: Like us.
Me: I like the sound of that too.
Aadyant: Goodnight, girlfriend.
Me: Goodnight, boyfriend. I love you.
Aadyant: I love you too.
I fell asleep with my phone on my chest and a smile on my face, feeling like maybe—just maybe—I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
~
FOLLOW ME!! 😄
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